Jobs & Other Fuckry

--->>>See job--->>>find CV--->>>update CV--->>>make it fit the job description--->>>(is this ethical? probably.)--->>>save as pdf file--->>>merge pdf--->>>what about that one story tht shows how awesome I am?--->>>merge pdf.--->>>double space?!--->>>merge pdf.--->>>what about the cover letter?--->>>should I try be humourous?--->>>yes, probably.--->>>show how witty and awesome I am at writing mean shit--->>>maybe someone will read this blog sometime and hire me to write their memoirs--->>>almost definitely going to happen I think--->>>just after New Year--->>>moving into 2011, it will all be clear and set in stone--->>>for now, might as well enjoy summer--->>>big rave with thousands of wasted children tonight--->>>I think I will need to concoct some BZP repellent--->>>choice.

Sort Of Sleeping With The Enemy

So I had a lovely first date with the nanny state this morning - the colourful bunch at Work & Income. My case manager was at first a little stand-offish, a little staunch, a bit by-the-book. I mean, she's seen it all, right? WINZ attracts a 'melting pot' of people, looking for that wee bit of assistance.

Anyway, I think she felt sorry for me...after all, my story is the classic recessionary tale really isn't it? It's not that I want to hang out all day with Uncle Benny, but more that I don't have too much of a choice in the matter.

But we met, and I really think we connected. It was an exercise in pleasant conversation and happy times. More fun than small talk, but not exactly two souls meeting in the deep sands of time. SO, I qualify for accommodation supplement and maybe temporary financial help. And from what my CM was saying, being on unemployment sounds like more work than full time work. Next time someone complains about dole bludgers, remember they probably work harder than you do just to stay on the bennie.

Because of the wonderful mismanagement I encountered over the phone, I had no idea I needed letters from my employers confirming that I work for them, and my passport too. So today's plan? Retrieve said documentation, rendevous at the meeting point and await further instructions from CM. Excitement increasing exponentially inside extremities.



Yeah it's mellow and obscure, but when you're lost in a world of uncertainty and financial insecurity, sometimes this swirly minimalism makes sense.

Up to?!

I have finished my Post-graduate Diploma in Journalism. What am I most sad about? Losing that wonderful student allowance. NOW I require income........

I've been trawling job websites, searching and sending emails, looking for work in hospo or, heaven forbid, in what I've been training to do. It's no surprise that there is around about, ooh, I don't know, fuck all out there really huh? Anyway, tomorrow morning, I have an appointment for something I've never had to do before - welcome to the wonderful world of Work & Income New Zealand.

All I need is some help to keep my rent paid while I continue my hunt for work. Got a job bro? Send it my way.

Anyway, this blog is going to be an account of my hunt for professional work, or at least how to get help living from the government. Apparently forst stpe is to embrace the dole, not resent it. Um. Yeah.



Try that on for size. See you tomorrow.

Summertime Rolls

Bought this in 2007 at the wonderful Funky Soul Stop record store in the heart of Oakland, CA, and this tune is potentially one of my most played records over the last few years. Aretha's voice soars awesomely once she comes in...but that's about two minutes into the tune. Almost too much.

1x Aretha Franklin 'Just Right Tonight'
1x shot of tequila with ginger beer and a squirty of lime
1x flax mat in Grey Lynn backyard
1x pair of sunglasses
1x very long, but wholeheartedly entertaining book

Mix well, for a long period of time. Who needs a job?

Not telling

My limbs remain sore from last thursday's nocturnal activities. I was thinking about writing the whole narrative thing to go along with it, but haven't made up my mind entirely yet. So, instead, here's something way more exciting than all the words put together in a cake with raspberries that have the consistency of a floury apple except actually taste lovely.



Part of me really wants to go here, but I'm fairly certain that's only because this video is entitled 'PsychoTrance', and that sounds too hilarious to miss.

How easy is an art project?

Last year at Kiwiburn I decided I was going to get an art grant and build something. What I wanted to build wasn't relevant at that point - what was important was that something was going to be made, and Kiwiburn were going to give me some money to help pay for it. It was like an epiphany, and was indeed a beautiful moment. But gosh, little did I know it was to get better. This is the tale of a table; the story of a surface.

A moment of inspiration not long after deciding to do an art project: something surreal and out of place would be the theme. With Kiwiburn being in a fairly mundane paddock, this wasn't going to be too hard. But something surreal and interesting, maybe something like this...



Well maybe not.

What about something menial? Something everyday? Something you wouldn't ecpect to see in a paddock? Something like a dinner table?

That was it. A dinner table. Whipping up a quick proposal to send to the art grants committee, I entitled it "Tomorrow Never Dines". That was probably due to being somewhat stained at the moment of typing. Anyhooooo there were only a few steps necessary. First, find some chairs. Trademe. Then sand them back, and stain them with timber stain. This took about an hour per chair, and I got it done on a hungover sunday. $60 all up I think. Next task was finding fabrics to make a flash-looking tablecloth. A store called Ned's (???) Fabrics on Dominion Road has this covered. Cost was about $7 for all the fabric needed. A table frame was generously donated to the cause, so that was it. On site, I scavenged a square of plywood, and set about putting it together. Time count - probably about 5-6 hours to do EVERYTHING.



Next step was further decoration. This came in the way of cheap lights, plastic plates, cups, knives and forks, and the centrepiece of hilarity - condoms and packets of lube donated by somebody who had loads. For some reason.



Placement was key, and because the installation was fairly small, I got to put it where I wanted. This was somewhere close to camp (because I was hungover when it was put together, and I was lazy) but fortunately in an area of high traffic. Happy coincidence. Anyway, this is the finished product: The Screwed Plate. Ridiculously easy.

Skweeeeeeeeeeeee

I first heard of this sub-genre of a sub-genre (possibly of a sub-genre) in late 2008/early 2009 on what has now become the ego mess that is dubstepforum. Without really pursuing it, Skweee kept peeking around the metaphorical corner and winking at me. When Rusko released a Skweee remix of Kotchy, I honestly dismissed the style fairly quickly.



not so into that one to be fair...

However, recently I have been watching skweee pop up in my internet meanderings again, and I thought it only fair to give it a real digital whirl. To my happy surprise, skweee is really fucking awesome. Everything I like about fruitbeat is in it, and in addition, some nordic funky analogue sounding synthesizer shit that sounds like dam funk wrapped up in several giant jackets sitting cosily by a fire in fucking Scandinavia or something similar. (NB : Czech dis shit out)

Well, after that little jaunt down adjective avenue, here comes the kicker.

Listen to the shit out of this badboy...if gypsies made funk it would sound something like this I think. Best of all, that wee package is utterly free. Who new post-dubstep could be so enlightening!

More linkies and information come from 'ere and old uncle google too.

For a lovely introduction piece, have a read of this little morsel from The Guardian.

And now for something not completely off topic - it is about Scandinavia - but what may be the newest low for reality TV...



Yours sporadically,

*(())*^^^^^^^*(())*

(I don't know what that is meant to be.)